Bullying, Part III

I want to expand on my earlier post.

As a kid, I recall enjoying elementary school.  I don't recall getting bullied until roughly the end of 6th grade.  At that point, I recall a few days of getting chased around by girls who initially pretended to like me but were clearly trying to insult me.  

In 7th grade, I got tweaked pretty regularly by 2-5 kids.  Mostly name-calling and angry words.  Occasionally it got physical; I was not a big kid and I came close to getting beaten down more than once.

I recall hating to go to school in the morning.  I also recall eventually refusing to be in a carpool with one group of bullies; for the life of me I have no idea how my parents ended up with me in that carpool...

I was a pretty geeky junior high school kid.  I didn't dress too well; wore too many hand-me-downs from cousins, passed along by well-meaning but confused parents-of-cousins, and which my well-meaning but confused parents wanted me to wear.  And when I did try to be stylish, it didn't work out too well; this was the 80s, and parachute pants had gone out of style by the time I decided I wanted to wear a pair.

I also reacted to the bullies.  They wanted a reaction and I gave it to them.  I'd look like a fool in the process.

More on what lessons I try to draw from these experience in the next post.

Bullying, Part II

Here's a link to the outstanding New York Times review of the film Bully.

As a father, I find myself terrified of the possibility that my son might be bullied.  

Bullying

Bullying statistics:

* 13 million children are bullied everyday

* 3 million of those are absent from class each month because they feel unsafe in their own schools.

I sometimes wonder if bullying is nature or nurture.  I remember being in elementary school in Michigan, taking the bus home, and having children take my mittens and bury in them in the snow after I got off the bus.  If I knew then what I know now, I feel things would have been so different!

A new movie out called "Bully" opens on March 30.  This documentary focuses on the problem of bullying through the eyes of children.  The Ellen show today featured a couple, David and Tina Long, whose son, Tyler, committed suicide in 2009, after being subjected to years of bullying.  Through the interview, I learned Tyler had Aspergers.  What really hit me was Tyler's mother's statement, "If we love him enough, that will be enough...."   

I have a preschool son, and I can understand the unending and overwhelming love a parent has for a child.  When my child is hurt, saddened, or disappointed, it is physically painful.  Plus, even in the preschool years, I already see children being mean to each other, leaving each other out, name calling.  

Ellen asks, "Why is the world filled with hateful people? God created all of us for a reason." I think this topic is close to Ellen's heart, as she has been targeted by hateful people for her life choices.  She shared that in this past month three children committed suicide, due to bullying,  

Ellen's website includes a set of resources called United Against Bullying.  Check it out.  How can we change these statistics?  As a parent, the thought of young people feeling suicide is the only answer is devastating.  

Do only boys bully?  Last week, during a playtime after my son's class ended, two girls were playing and didn't want my son to play with them.  My son was visibly hurt.  The girls were dressed as princesses.  My son had dressed up as a knight.  One girl's dad talked to his daughter and explained to her that my son could be part of the game, and helped her be kinder.  I felt so grateful to see a parent helping their child to make kind, inclusive choices.  Parents do make a difference in how their children treat each other.  I saw that today.  

Movie- "Bully"

http://thebullyproject.com/