I haven't posted for quite awhile. Unfortunately, in mid November, my brother became sick very quickly with lung cancer and we had to fly to the midwest to see him in the hospital. The day after we arrived he passed away. A week after that it was Thanksgiving. We actually took the train home from the Chicago station all the way to California, which I will be writing about soon.
I haven't figured out the best way to discuss my brother's death to my four year old son. What I have learned is that I have to be more careful what I say to others when I am around my son. At this age they understand more than we give them credit for.
I believe in heaven so that is something we have talked about since my son was very little. I am currently looking for some books on the subject, but I haven't even found one that seems appropriate.
I think another important thing is for me to have time alone and with friends and family, to grieve the loss of my brother. My son is very connected to my feelings and emotions, and I know he picks up my grief. I am taking time each night to connect with how I feel and then process those emotions. When I am with my son I am working hard to be mindful and live in the moment.
I haven't told my son that his uncle passed away. I am having a hard time accepting this myself, to be honest. My brother seemed to be one of the healthiest people I know.
As I walk down this path of healing I will share what works and doesn't work for me.
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